Mariam came to me in desperation. She was utterly broken, alone and miserable. She had been married to her husband for seven years and it felt like their marriage was over. They were constantly fighting over the smallest things, they had lost their intimacy and whenever they were around each other, the question loomed around them if now was the time to end it.

She wasn’t alone. Many men and women come to me when their marriage is in tatters. And they are wondering if there’s any hope. Although the worst thing you can do is wait till the most amount of damage is done to your marriage, there is almost always hope.

The first step begins with INTENTION.

Yep that’s right. Before any skills or any transformation can happen, the intention deep within has to be made. 

Working together, Mariam and I explored her motivation to seeking help, what she really wanted and why she wanted it. She uncovered layers of why she had waited so long. The fear she had and the myths she was caring inside her. Fear stops us from doing many things, including the things that are obviously “good”. And though we may logically convince ourselves of why something is the right thing to do, our emotional brains may still hold us captive with beliefs that don’t serve us.

When Mariam made the intention to change her marriage, everything else became easier. The self reflection began, the ability to pause slowly increased, the ability to practice the skills she learnt began to guide her, there was less hesitancy coming to therapy, and the outcome no longer mattered. Her soul and her relationship’s transformation is what mattered. 

Are you ready to make the intention to transform your marriage?